Assertiveness

I recently began reflecting on my ability to be assertive in conflict. I have difficulty asserting my point of view and effectively making myself heard. If my point of view does not agree with the other party, I often either find a way to acknowledge their view or even allow them to take control of the situation while I remain silent. In my mind I understand my view is valid and can contribute, but if it conflicts with someone else's view I accommodate and avoid in order to prevent any friction or conflict between us. I avoid offending people in order to maintain a good rapport with them.

I am agreeable, I want everyone I come into contact with to be satisfied. I am not a push over, there is a point that I will stand, but it does take a lot to get there. Often when I risk it and try to stand up earlier, I feel I come off as adversarial and unreasonable. I need to begin to concern myself less with this; even with the best intentions, someone is going to be slighted in one way or another. It is futile attempting to please everyone. If someone does not appreciate my point of view and approaches me differently because of it, that is not solely on my shoulders. It is their choice to take something personally.

I need to improve this skill, analyze my intent and come up with ways of articulating my point of view in a manner that benefits both parties, yet allows me to be heard. My spirit needs to be in tune with what I wish to accomplish. Much like sparring in kung fu, I cannot let myself be pushed in a direction I don't want to go, I need to take control. Understand what I can influence and what can influence me.